The Life Philosophy of Homer Simpson.

* Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems.

* Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually!

* Because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything!

* America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well...all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

* It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

* English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

* You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!

* You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

* I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!

* Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

* Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

* You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

* Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

* God bless those pagans.

* Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!

* If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!

* I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

* Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

* You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

* Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.

* I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

Homer Simpson, the role model.

Via.